when youre at a concert does it suddenly hit you at random moments that the band are real people and not just pictures on the internet
we’re starting shakespeare in theatre today and i feel it would be in bad taste to shout “WELCOME TO THE GUN SHOW BITCHES” as i walk in
“hey sorry i was busy” kidding i was watching my fave tv show and u interrupted rude
wouldn’t that be hilarious if the third series of sherlock started with “nope sherlock is actually dead tough shit you all waited for nothing”
and then it’s just this picture for the next hour and a half:
The sad thing is we’d probably all stay and watch the picture of Moffat’s face for the entire time
year is 2392
child: mommy i can't sleep
mother: don't worry child. lay down as i sing you this ancient lullaby, passed on through my family for generations
mother: WALK INTO THE CLUB LIKE WHAT UP, I GOT A BIG COCK
some flowers just arrived for my sister but my mom thought they were for me.
and so she asked if they were from henry and of course i asked what the hell she was talking about
and she was like “henry, the boy you’re always talking about.”
she meant henry david thoreau.
i quote henry david thoreau so much my mom thought henry david thoreau was my boyfriend